Do we get what we expect?
Is this how it works? We get what we expect to get? Like some law of attraction story?
Expectation and confidence sound pretty much the same. “I am confident that everything will work out”. “I expect everything will work out”. Close enough? But you can have all the confidence it takes to perform in a rock concert and end up with nothing: Broke and alone.
The top systems for building confidence go like this: So you want more confidence? Start with something that has a high probability for success. Pursue it and make it work. You’ll have more confidence when you’ve experienced success. Really? Is this the way to go at it?
Here is an example of a realistic self image and the expectation quotient associated with it.
Remember Ross Perot? In case you don’t remember Ross he was a presidential candidate a few years back who was telling the truth, the facts about the way the country was being run into the ditch by people who don’t care about anybody but themselves. Those people, being more powerful than Ross, drove him into obscurity and made him an image of ridicule using their media machines. All the stuff he was saying was right on the money and we continue suffering. Instead of recognizing the truth when we heard it we chose to listen to lies that promised us what we wanted: that we would be taken care of; like little children.
Ross was and I guess still is a billionaire. He suffered many set backs in becoming a billionaire. I know this because I watched him during an interview with Charlie Rose. When ask if he ever felt like throwing in the towel he said it never entered his mind. He never took failure and set backs personal. He never felt like a failure. He didn’t get depressed, feel ashamed or any thing else. He just said,”Okay, that didn’t work, and moved on to another idea”.
He expected that if he kept at it everything would work out and it did. Was this due to his belief? The result of his expectations?
One mental problem Ross does not have is an irrational idea of the importance of other people’s opinion. He doesn’t judge himself by other peoples opinion of him. He doesn’t let people’s opinion dampen his spirits. At least not for long. Most of the successful people I’ve met, and I made it a point to hang around the people that were getting stuff, didn’t care a lot about what people thought of them. They may like you. They just aren’t hooked on your opinion of them.
On occasion you’ll run into people who seem to have a really good outlook. They have a nice disposition and they seem to be comfortable and they go along through the crap that comes from society and people and they just keep going, seemingly undeterred. I’ve met them and ask what their ideas about life were and they didn’t have an answer accept they always had the feeling that everything was going to be OK. No reason. No religion. Nothing special. Just that things would be OK. If you find a person like this, you may want to keep them.
So could we say that an expectation is just a feeling? But remember that Ross and these people that felt everything was going to work out had bad days too.
Are expectations important for success? Are they a necessary ingredient?
I have the expectation that something bad is going to happen. This has been with me since I was in the third or fourth grade. It’s still with me now… Wouldn’t this be an expectation? Throughout my life I’ve had a lot of bad things happen… I’ve had a lot of good things happen. So what the deal? Is there an expectation system? I haven’t seen any… People preach it, write about it… but I’ve never seen it at work.