The abused and shamed go one of two ways, sadism or masochism. The degree of either reflects the individuals conceived pain. Conceived in that each persons reaction to pain, physical or emotional, is different.
Human nature is malleable, shaped by its environment. The initial slate of human nature may not be blank, but it was certainly cleaner. The other day I heard someone refer to a five year old boy as, kind of mean. After I thought about it for a while, I could see it.
The only thing I know about the boy, from talking to him, is he feels he’s being forced to do things he doesn’t want to do: like go to school. I understood. Having to, being forced to, go to school was a major pain for me. My reaction to it led me into more pain.
All people have painful memories. However we’ve individually conceived our pains isn’t all that relevant. Our reactions are relevant.