Sexual abuses

There is a considerable range of people that live through severe psychological disturbances along their adult age because a lot of them went through pseudo sexual or overt sexual abuses when they were kids, abuses that took place like psycho-sexual* harassment, strange and ambiguous behaviors perpetrated by people around or even parents, surreptitious molestations and even rape…
(* by “psychosexual” I mean: silent or bombastic psychological violence based on a sexual background (double senses, a camouflaging caress with different intents and so on)).

What’s really wearing along the process of maturation is not really the memory of the violence in itself .. but rather the quality that memory has to produce psychological mist in the mind that hosts it…

As well the memory of the vexation, whether manifested as sexually explicit or as disturbing psychological harassment in general, has the characteristic to create hidden and silent sentiments of isolation…

The victim of child’s abuses becomes easily a misty mind when adult developing basically two major personalities: A tendencially violent, authoritarian or hyper-reactive personality… or a hyper-compliant psychological attitude to behave with the others.

In the second case the person is literally “open doors” to new possible abusing situation, whether sexually, psychologically, socially and so on…

It’s sophisticated, very very sophisticated what an hyper-gentle and over-polite mind can operate…

In South Italy there is a famous word known as “Omerta”: it’s a cultural expression indicating a sort of “code of honor” that acquires legitimate relevance within deep-rooted family or a community as a sense of a “code of silence”. There is another expression: “the dirty clothes must be washed at home” where “home” means the ‘within the family’, ‘within the community’, ‘within the church’ and so on… and “clothes” represent inconvenient facts, non moral attitudes, not socially compatible behaviors and similar poisons.

The great element of disturbance which progressively germinates in the mind of the abused child up to the adult age.. is indeed this psychological Omerta which gets more and more carbureted and enhanced by the inevitable act of going through the insanity of society (expecially the modern one)…

In so many cases something very weird happens: there is a sort of Stockholm Syndrome which takes place in a specific form;
the subject develops an attitude of goodness, over-politeness, over-sensitivity… as a paradoxical defence mechanism against the tendency of his or her memories of the abuses to foment self-inflicted guilt in the mind of this individual.

Subconsciously or consciously the person nourishes hidden, latent or manifested sentiments of guilt… especially when such person went and goes through social ignorance, bigotry, collective tabu’, dualities between negative and positive, religious or moralistic imprintings and other subcultural garbage.

Each society teaches to the kid the value of “goodness”… “to be a good person”… but even the kid that has never been victim of abuses develops a certain level of disturbance when he constantly hears everybody around him suggests him to become a good person tomorrow… ’cause this implies that maybe he’s not a good kid today…

Let alone the kid who went through abuse…

The more the abused mind grows in society, the more such mind compares itself with the current psychosocial consolidation of “normality” therefore developing more and more individual mental mist characterized by the idea to be “wrong”. Then maybe comes the fools carrying the idea of karma… or the imbeciles with the “letting go” mantra…

Considering the mist such person has within his or her mind… and that sense of alienation which almost everlastingly suggests “It happened to me ! why did it happen to me? I must be destined to be wrong”… then the only psychological movements this person can protract along his or her future life can only appear as the result of the mist…

I think that the motivational field is even more than just silly to the victims of human atrocities… it’s even dangerous because it installs into the painful & confused psyche pseudo-hopes and plastic second-hand forms of self esteem which can only create an addiction of superficial illusions.. therefore the dramatic fear to lose the attachment to them… All of these easy tools, such as – “let it go”, “listen to your heart”, “just be”, “you are perfect, you are loved, your are infinite potential”… all of these rhetorical nonsenses can only aggravate the suffering mind… shaping it into what naturally it wasn’t meant to be… meaning: stupid, drugged by motivational superficialities or spiritual stupidities… trying to develop another fake and silly identity… so to escape the real thing.

It’s a matter of fact that many people flock in the new age/think positive/ be good scenario because of their abused past… Many of these people, especially females, develop a dangerous hyper-sensitivity and hyper-gentleness which silently and gradually takes over their rational self-observation and their intelligence…

As well it’s a matter of fact that in the same scenario lie other kind of abusers… very well conscious of what’s going on… seeking for easy preys to conquer through silly spiritual stratagems… whether “free love” or tantric this and that… “sexual divine energy” and other crap…

That’s not the way to face memories… to dismantle the power of the memory of sexual abuses…

Never try to be gentle with your memories! What’s the purpose?

Memories are nothing but thoughts… such as “god” and “goodness”… Why on Earth one should be gentle and polite toward a memory?

As long we give away psychological energy to a single or a bunch of memories… we establish a value… and that’s the paradoxical condition of the struggling mind… struggling because of the memories of past sexual abuses…

The mind gives tremendous relevance to the memory… and by doing so it foments a value everyday… and that value dominates the whole movement of the mind not just preventing a radical understanding… but also feeding the poisons of self-commiseration… or the possibility to sink into other abusive situation

The more attentiveness toward the whole, including the most painful memories, arises .. the more the value, the self-inward-“Omerta” dissolves itself…

A reaction of higher intelligence is the denial of the existentially and psychologically unacceptable condition in which one gets victim of his own memories…

Victimism is so often what hyper-goodness tries to cover up… and victimism comes from memories… but victimism is not a memory… it’s merely the stopper of the understanding of the way one reacts to his or her memories… Therefore are not memories to be wholly understood and dismantled… but rather the poison in the between… between the memory and the thinker.

Think about these things