The Familiar

Wait, I said, you seem familiar, all this, all of you people. I’ve been here before haven’t I? Do you know me?

We’ve seen you here, like this, She said, We’ve wondered about you and where you go when you leave. Where do you go?

I’m not sure, I said. I’m not sure if I come here from someplace else or go someplace from here, I can’t remember leaving. We stared at one another through a sort of veil. Not a fabric, not that, more like a haze on the lens. I blinked to clear my vision but the haze remained.

For some reason seeing, and speaking, were different here. We spoke but the words were more like feelings than the mechanical sounds I was comfortable with. Why is that, I wondered, am I comfortable some place? I know I know this place, but it still feels strange. I always struggle to understand

Could you wait, I said. Tell me about yourself, what are you all doing. I can’t tell. It’s sort of hard to hear.

She smiled, and I felt her say, you always ask the same things. You need to understand something but I can’t explain anything to you. These questions are yours. How can I answer your questions?

I looked at her, falling deep into the dark eyes, searching. It’s right there. I always feel that, it’s right there. She saw me doing it and we held each other again… I wanted to fall over the edge, lose whatever grip I held on whatever held me from falling all the way in, or maybe more a stepping through. Words aren’t solid here, and there again, the need, the longing and not understanding the need itself… now I’m leaving again, she feels it and looks up… a smile for me as I fade, I almost had it, I almost stayed