…rejection, consensus and the myth of completion…
Where the concern to be rejected comes from?
And where the pain due to actual rejection comes from since we have never deeply inquired about the psychological edifice of this concern of being rejected?
Behind the fear of rejection must lie the necessity to be loved, appreciated, considered..
Since we are all more or less holders of various typologies of camouflaged issues such as mechanical habits, pseudo-manias perhaps, many silent or noisy fears and numerous conditioning’s.. which means that we all own a certain inability to stand, psychologically, for ourselves.. then when we want to be loved, what is that we expect that other people should love?
The masks? The images of what we are not?
Our chattering psyche which is a mind who very frequently asks for consensus?
Our latent narcissism?
Would a non-demanding mind, capable of psychological self-sufficiency, ask for consensus and fear rejection? Or would such a mind rather constitute its relationships, inwardly and outwardly, through a fluent, fresh, intelligent manner without any frictions whatsoever?
The concern of being rejected, as well the pain coming from rejection, do not really arise from the fear or from the acts made by the trigger of such rejection.. not at all:
it may be very annoying, but the very responsible fact of the pain coming from the rejection is not to be attributed to he or she that rejects or rejected us.. but rather to the circumstance in which both the fear of rejection and the actual pain post-rejection, are obviously out of our psychological insufficiency..
We want a sort of independence we believe to be found in completion… What we ignore is that such a desire comes from our psychological dependence, which is precisely what makes us search and suffer, and what remains constantly unexplored..
Then we cling to simplistic concepts like “self love” and such banalities, which is deleterious. How on Earth can an insufficient psyche, totally disinterested to seriously inquire in its own psychological frictions, possibly “love” itself without producing an ulterior fertilization of further biases and therefore problems?
Out of our not examined insufficiencies we shape myths of completion in the name of which we then build up problems within problems, neurosis within neuroticisms, beliefs within ideals and so on..
If one put total attentiveness in the very act of thinking so to locate, dissect and drop all the biases, then would one be concerned again about being rejected? Would such a mind be engaged again with the strive for consensus? All of these fevers, to a sober and clear intelligence, won’t bother the brain any longer.. and only at that point the mind can enter relationship intelligently.. inwardly and outwardly..
This is to say that the more the brain gets more and more interested in its own psychological sufficiency, which is intelligence, the more the concern of rejection disappears..
Consensus may be a pleasurable mental movement, the self esteem and all the rest of that business.. but the mind who cling to the quest of constant consensus, is the mind that actually foments its own everlasting insufficiency.. and that’s a matter of fact.