The Spiritual Cul-De-Sac

Every so often I get to feeling stuck. I feel I want to do something, but I don’t know what that something is. This gets me looking for someone or something that might serve as a spark to ignite my A-HA. What I usually come out of these sprints into the other realms with is a clearer understanding of what I’d been thinking to begin with. Something I’d already known but misplaced.

I don’t like to use the names people give to things cause with mass usage these names get scrambled, distorted and intermixed with the ideas and vernacular of different groups. I don’t really like words but I use them. So why use the spiritual cul-de-sac rather than the spiritual path or journey? Because each time I take off down that “higher” road looking and listening to anything I find interesting I come to the end of it pretty fast.

The word cul-de-sac is French and means “The bottom of the sack”.

Another definition reads: cul-de-sac; any situation in which further progress is impossible.

So, I get some ideas refreshed and maybe a few fresh ideas and then – Poof – the path disintegrates into nowhere land.

If I was to use the word spiritual in conjunction with path or journey spiritual could be defined as any thing anyone’s doing now. If you’re doing something, doing nothing or simply being it’s a spiritual existence. As for as spiritual goes – for me – we’re it. We are all we know about it. People say there’s more.

People are talking about guides and angels, spirits, light workers, star seeds, source, god, aliens, inter-dimensional beings, realities and existences, journeys to other worlds and planets via astral projection or mushrooms. I’ve never seen or experienced any of it – although I’d really like to.

I also don’t fit in with any of that crowd, so far – although I’d like to. Don’t get me wrong – I want to get some of what they say they’ve got. Not all of it, but a taste wouldn’t hurt.

Recently on one of these, there’s gotta be more, tangents I ran across a girl that could really explain what I’d been thinking.  It was great. I love it when people agree with me, especially when I’m not convinced of my own ideas.

Here’s the sad part. Just when I’m getting really interested in what she has to say her life caves in like a crack addicts karma. Just implodes. It looks sad, it looks dumb, it looks like a bad reality show. If you liked sadness, you would have liked this. The bottom line in the whole ordeal was nothing more than a common case of low self esteem.

Is this a bad thing? Does it make anything she was saying less valid? Here’s the deal as I see it.

On the one hand, in her message, there was a whole lot of good common sense stuff being talked about. We can all know things, or know that something works, and not practice those things as well as we’d like. I do it. We’re all just practicing something anyway.

On the other hand there was the super spiritual enlightenment message being taught. I mean taught as in seminars and workshops and so on. Then comes the melt down.

Is this a bad thing? What’s good or bad? Here is what I see as sort of a problem for the latest bunch of spiritual teachers and followers. They are all seeking to become something. They’re all after something. They’re seeking enlightenment, connection with god, higher selves, higher dimensions. They seek to move away from the negative and into the positive.

They are seeking to leave the darkness behind.

The problem with this “Path” is it isn’t possible. They are the darkness they want to leave behind. I am that darkness. I am the light. They are the light. We are all it – Light and dark. No darkness, no stars. We can’t leave.

We can’t rise above ourselves. We can’t separate ourselves from ourselves. We can’t rid ourselves of our dark side. Hence the spiritual cul-de-sac.

We all reach a point where we have to come back to earth. The farther out we get in our thoughts – the farther we have to fall and the harder we land.

There’s nothing wrong with being what we are. We can’t fix our fears – they aren’t broke. They’re just thoughts. Just words and memories, ideas and feelings. We can adjust our reactions and attitudes toward them. We can stop fighting them. We might consider spending more time with our fears and what we call negative aspects.

We could get to know them. We might be missing out on a potentially meaningful relationship. Make a friend of fear? Why not? What’s the alternative? We can deal with fear or fear will deal with us.

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