The spiritual experience

Questioner:
It’s a matter of fact that some of us have experienced a sort of illumination, during a retreat, me myself, I have experienced the oneness with everything, the awakening…

Answer:
And what about you now? Are you illuminated? Are you awaken? Or are you still a little bit confused, not sure about what to do with this experience you had?

Questioner:
I don’t know… I guess that…

Answer:
Wait… do not go further… sorry of the interruption but that “I don’t know” has already explained what you were guessing… It implies and contain the germ of psychological time which is fear…

Let me explain: you had a certain experience you call awakening, vision, call, kundalini, whatever you will… and now you do not know what to do with it… right? Are you awakened now?

Questioner:
Indeed I wanted to say that I do not know what to do… but, however, isn’t that experience a beginning point for what you call the evolution of intelligence and the rise of attentiveness?

Answer:
How on Earth can it be so?
How can there be an evolution of intelligence, which is a detoxication of the psyche, if the psyche doesn’t know what to do with it?
And why the mind doesn’t know it? It is supposed to know it right? ’cause that’s the meaning of attentiveness…

Or attentiveness may comes through little “I do not know” steps the sum of which, in a future tomorrow, may results in a big “now I know” we call consciousness? How can a sum of doubts result in knowing? You see?

It’s not about what you know and what you don’t know…

That’s consciousness, which is the known… But where is perception? And the awareness of it? Consciousness with no awareness remains merely the known… the experienced: there is no evolution, just knowledge…

Questioner:
Not sure if I got it…

Answer:
What’s an experience .. psychologically? Is it not something that you have to recognise and name?

For example you experience an astonishing scenario.. and you recognise the beauty, then you name it as beauty, or ”gift of god” and whatever…

By doing so the experience is not the experiencing ’cause the experience is the first impact, while the experiencing is constantly filtered by the knowledge, the expectations, the conditioning’s one has… you follow?

Therefore if you are experiencing something and you are able to recognize that something (the experience), whether enlightenment, kundalini and so on… this takes place because you know it already… there is nothing new: you experience what you already know: the filter of experiencing phagocytes the experience…

So if you are there, at the retreat, seeking for some kundalini whatsoever… then what you will experience will be most likely kundalini… ’cause you generated it through your conditioned knowledge which permeates your act of experiencing… (most likely you even paid for it!)…

If you join the workshop about soulmates and tantric power… then your conditioned experiencing will make you think that you experienced some sort of twinflame’s energy whatsoever…

If you were a devotee of the virgin mary or sai baba or who knows what else… then they manifest their faces on the rocks, in the clouds and, obviously, within your heart… isn’t it so?

Then one says that we can shape our own reality!

You see: there is not experience for what it is… just conditioned experiencing…

It is not the experienced what we should look… but the experiencing… ’cause in there lie all the traps and the conditioning’s through which, no matter what we experience, we will always remain stuck in a rut!

The experiencing is not the experience…